To the times when life seemed so unfair

I complained to God because i had no shoes--until i saw a man who had no feet...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

it takes a lot more than guts

i guess it will never work...

love cannot move mountains....

it cant....

never will...

never ever will......

and thats very sad...

so im going to stop now...

coz im not brave enough to continue being responsible for my feelings...

i want to feel this....

but i dont think it would do me any good....

so im letting go....

Friday, October 07, 2005

to beloved

beloved,

I love you......

maddeningly......

Sunday, October 02, 2005

to life

my philosophy thesis is coming up this week... damn... i should start reading... but then again.. i shouldn't just read.... i should understand it..

Monday, September 26, 2005

i actually thought you'd understand

i tried to talk to my parents, but everytime i try, they always end up getting mad at me. i talked to a councelor already, they told me that some people have a paradigm in their head, and that i should understand my parents.... but im the only one doing the understanding not them.... i have to be the one to understand them..... if i am the good guy, who everyone puts down and insults, why am i always the one who cries???? am i this cursed in life, today i finally CHOOSE to be HAPPY, but why did it end up a mess...????? is my life always like this... this is the reason i sometimes chose to be miserable and sad.. because it is better than being happy then getting diossapointed later on...... life is crap...... and i have to face it like that...

so far in life i have only met 2 people in the world who understands me, moreen and patricia.... i miss them greatly.... they dont know how much i cant live without them.... i wish i could hug them now... i miss them....

i speak a different language amongst the people... they only understand me when i try to speak theirs.... why cant they understand me????>????

Saturday, September 24, 2005

to humanity ("sing to me")

I have become the cold floor of his grave;
The silent steps of the angel.
I have become the pale, pale skin of the dead,
You cannot touch me, I am stiff.
I have become the fallen leaf of the tree;
Green, fades and brittles.
I have become the body alone.
Where is my soul?

I do not see sunshine no more,
only the rain, pouring strongly.
I do not hear the laughter no more,
only their screams, they comfort me.
I see their pain,
But where is mine?

I have become the lost child,
You cannot hear my cries,
I walk aimlessly across the streets,
Do you even see me?
Can you look at my face and save me
With a lullaby?
If you sing me to my heaven,
I will not see you, but I will hear
And I will die, But
Love is still alive.

Friday, September 23, 2005

to my mentor

thank you so much for clearing up certain things about me that i dont understand.

Passion is my strength and my weakness..

i am a risk taker....

and others that i will not mention anymore...

i guess i am a risk taker, my mom mistakes me for fearless... i am not fearless.... i am mostly afraid, i just am willing to do things to experience them...

sometimes assertiveness is mistaken for arrogance....

and sometimes courage is mistaken for craziness....

i hope most would understand that....

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

to California

I WANT TO MOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want to live with my grandmother, or with my cousin and study there........

i want to get a summer job and earn money ther...

i want to buy a car and drive there......

ahhhh...

i want to go to california na now!!!!!!!

ahhhhhhh......